Sometimes Cloudy

Day 14

A cloud is blocking my sunshine...

I am lucky enough to have awesome rest days, Tuesday and Wednesday... don't be jealous. I thought I would keep Wednesdays as the one day a week I kept completely open to recoup, or in case I wanted to plan something.

Lately though I have been having a hard time staying on course with trying to eat healthy and exercise these days. I have taken lazy to a whole new level on Wednesdays, then find it hard to get motivated again every Thursday; and I also feel like the work of the week before was just thrown away.

There is also too much time to think on these days when I don't go anywhere or do anything. Not only do I get upset about going off course, I for some reason start beating myself up over every little thing or thinking about the past and useless things.

I think I need to reevaluate my off days to get me out more, to shake this funk. I keep saying I will get out more when it warms up but that is just an excuse to avoid going out now. Why am I still struggling with getting out doing things on my own? I thought I used to be a stronger person, did I really change that much over the eight years...

I am trying so hard to get rid of this negative mind set, and I thought I was. I just have to remind myself people go through real and much harder struggles than me everyday, and they come out of them usually stronger; and then ask myself 'are the things you are worried about really that important'. So I need to stop making excuses and just make the changes that are needed to stop feeling like this.

I am not looking for sympathy by sharing this, just sharing a simple struggle during my adventure to change.